I wrote this post intended for my monthly photography blog circle post, but I don’t have an image for this – just words. May’s topic, motherhood, was extra challenging for me, and I’ve decided to approach it outside of my own comfort zone. In a way, this post is a picture of me on a much more intimate level than I usually reveal to the world. While this might actually give you more insight of who I am as a person (not just another photographer), more importantly, I also want to dedicate this to all moms out there being your month of May.
I hope you enjoy it! Happy Mother’s Day! xoxo
The realm of motherhood is so foreign to me, yet it’s also already a big part of me.
If you’ve met me, you already know that I don’t have any of my own children yet. If you are a previous client or even a good friend, you know how much I adore children of all ages. If you’ve chatted with me at depth, you know that I have two dogs that I wholeheartedly adore, pamper, and fully enjoy being mom to. If you’ve talked with me at length, you know that I have two nephews and a niece whom I love to pieces and would do anything for. Chances are you would also know that I “might” get to see them once a year, so I am not able to remain close to them as much as I really want to.
Something that most people don’t know, though, is that even though I am a little older than most women trying to bear children; we have been trying to have a child since a short time after my husband and I got married. Along the way, we experienced a miscarriage 3 years ago. At the time this was devastating. We’ve learned since then that miscarriages happen much more often than we know. We realize now that if it weren’t for miscarriages as a natural control, that each woman might have around 40 babies to raise – thank goodness that’s not the case! I am picturing a Monty Python scene in the kitchen with crying babies everywhere . . .
To me, motherhood is the ultimate and most precious responsibility that one could have. Having only been mom to my dogs, I understand that to a certain degree. I’ve seen these helpless creatures through milestones, watched them succeed and grow, and have spent so much time training and guiding them towards comfort and happiness in their lives with us. I can only imagine bringing up a child through the years and what completely different and complex challenges that mothers face. I feel the vulnerability and pain (although I can’t imagine the overwhelming grief) of the motherhood role when certain social pressures get introduced to children, or disasters like Sandy Hook Elementary occur.
I also have no words and cannot wrap my mind around why a small percentage of mothers don’t care as deeply and strongly as most. Why some might feel the need to hurt, punish, or destroy an innocent child’s life.
I have the highest respect for mothers out there of all ages. For those who have watched and cherished every moment of their babies’ growth and adaptation into this world. For those who are currently juggling 1 to 4+ children at home. For those who work while raising children. For those who are raising special needs babies. For those who have adopted or fostered children. For those who have lost their babies before and after birth (including my own mother).
My husband and I have talked about children at length, and we are both okay living a full life without children of our own. We know it may never happen. But for now, we can still dream for a couple more years. Even though I have come to terms with not ending up with a baby of my own, I’m secretly hoping (and I know my husband does too) that I will someday be able to experience true motherhood at its finest. <3
Please continue on this blog circle dedication to Motherhood by visiting Nadeen Flynn’s blog!